Awakening by Tracy Higley

Author:Tracy Higley [Higley, Tracy]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: StoneWater Press
Published: 2014-07-22T23:00:00+00:00

CHAPTER 20

The music stopped a moment after her confession. Couples pulled apart, returned to tables.

Dimitri stood in the center of the dance floor, staring at his shoes.

A hard knot of regret formed in her chest. What had she done?

“Dimitri, let’s sit down.” She tugged on his sleeve, then hurried to her seat. He joined her a moment later, still not looking at her.

“I—you probably want a bit more explanation—”

“Yes.” His voice was like lead.

His reaction puzzled her. Curiosity, she would have expected. Surprise, maybe. But he was acting as if she’d admitted she was married or a paroled felon.

“I know Judith told you I ran into some trouble a few years back, and, uh, that’s when I changed my name.”

He met her eyes at last, and it wasn’t anger. It was shock. “Yes.”

Any thoughts she’d had about telling him everything evaporated in panic over his response. “Well, that was the trouble I had…I lost my memory.”

“Lost your memory.” The repetition was dull, monotone.

“I know, it sounds like some kind of Victorian novel or something.” She shrugged nonchalantly to hide her fear, even though her heart was beating erratically and she felt trapped, terrified. “But, there you have it.”

“And the scars?”

She swallowed and drew her arms protectively to her chest. “I don’t know.”

“Something terrible happened, then. To cause it.” His gaze was on his hands, folded on the table.

“It would appear so, yes.” Her voice was now a whisper.

“How long ago?”

“Seven years.”

At this, he sucked in a ragged breath and closed his eyes.

What was he thinking? Was he realizing how damaged she truly was and rethinking this whole romantic thing?

“I—I’ve learned to deal with it, though.” She tried to sound competent, grown up…not a scared little girl.

“Yes, yes, I can see you have.” He stood. “I’m going to find the server to pay the check.”

Just like that. Dinner was over.

She nodded, then wiped away unstoppable tears when he wandered away. The hollowness of her past was a gaping hole in her chest, an emptiness somehow larger than her body itself. She was an incomplete person, a broken person. Why did she ever let her guard down?

They were both silent on the way back to the hotel. She couldn’t guess his thoughts. She knew her own. She never should have opened up, never should have tried to connect. Tonight was the perfect reason she’d kept her distance from relationships. When you put your heart out there and the other person didn’t accept you, didn’t understand you, it was too painful to even be with him anymore.

Dimitri gave her the obligatory kiss on the cheek at the elevator again, as he had last night. Then he hurried away. Nothing like he had last night.

In her room, she let the tears flow. It felt good to cry into her pillow, to embrace her loneliness, to remind herself of who she was. Or who she wasn’t. Her story journal lay on the nightstand beside her head, and it made her think of Dr. Newsom. He knew her whole story and still seemed to like her.

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